The Great Debate

After 17 years of marriage, I've learned that in order to keep things interesting around my house, I've got to mess with the Mr. just a little bit. My latest shenanigan is centered around a very heated and favorite debatable topic. I'm not talking about religion. I'm not talking about equality. Heck, I'm not even talking about politics. What I am talking about is toilet paper.

The whole "How should you hang your toilet paper on the holder?" debate is getting pretty ridiculous if you ask me. The fact that just the other day, I read a heated Facebook thread, that consisted of hurt feelings and friend deletions over this exact issue, proves that this subject belongs right up there with the best of them. And this is why toilet paper, of all things, is worthy of a blog post from me.

Patrick is very particular about the way a new roll of toilet paper gets put on the holder. He likes it to hang over. I just like it to be put on the holder. It's very tempting to purposely put the toilet paper roll on the opposite way he likes, but when I do, he actually gets mad about it. The guy uses it maybe once a day. I use it like 100 times a day. I should totally have precedent on how the roll is hung, right? Wrong! I decided that in order to keep my marriage from ending in divorce by TP, I just need to hang the roll the way he likes it, and so I do.

The other day I was trying to use the restroom in peace but as many of you mothers know, if it's not your kids barging in on you, it's your man. The toilet paper had run out and I had grabbed a new roll as I sat down. I hadn't had the chance to even think about putting it on the holder before Mr. "I like my toilet paper hung over" made some comment about me NEVER putting the roll of toilet paper on the holder. Apparently, he doesn't realize that with four potty trained girls in the house, we go through almost a roll a day and 99% of the time, the toilet paper is hung properly to his specifications on the holder.

I've learned over the years to pick and choose my battles and have gotten really good at biting my tongue, but duuuuuuuude….I'm trying to pee in peace and you are getting on my last nerve! So, I not so nicely told him that I do put the roll on the holder almost daily and that from now on, I will NOT be putting the roll on the holder so that he can see how often I DO do it.

This whole interaction got me thinking about the differences between men and women. I've concluded that we are designed differently. Our bodies, our minds, and the way we do things are just different. Does this mean we can't co-exist because we like our toilet paper to hang opposite of each other? No.

I had joined a gym shortly before my Kaia adventure and there were numerous times that I felt inadequate in my workout endeavors there. I would plan on hitting the treadmill only to see some young good looking lads strategically placed on every other treadmill. This meant that I would have to squeeze between two of them and watch those strong youthful legs run at 7 mph for an hour without breaking a sweat while I heavily breathed in their ear walking at 3 mph. So, instead of approaching the treadmill with confidence, I opted for the lone stationary bike in the corner where no one could see or judge me and I quietly cursed those boys for making me feel the way I did. Surely it was all their fault, right?

I love that Kaia FIT is an all women's bootcamp. When I walked in for the first time, I was nervous. I hadn't slept much the night before in anticipation for this new experience. I was tired and I pretty much rolled right out of bed and straight into my car to get there on time. The eye boogers were still in my eyes and my hair was a mess, but on that very first day, I walked in and felt loved and accepted by ALL the women there, messy hair and all. In a few short days, my insecurities were left sleeping in my bed and I grew more and more confident in my balance level knee push-ups while others were clapping between their Kaia level ones. High-5's and "good job's" were given no matter WHAT level we each did and over time, I gained more confidence in myself and in my abilities. I don't know that I would have felt the same way if this was a co-ed class. The fact that I was able to fully be my uncoordinated weak self was and still is a true blessing.

Patrick likes his toilet paper hung one way and I don't really care which way it's hung. The fact of the matter is, we still both need and use toilet paper daily. We just like it differently. I like being in a class full of women. Patrick probably would too, but I doubt he would be comfortable working out in a room full of women. The point is, a class designed by women for women works for me because I'm a woman. Make sense?

After finishing up in the restroom, I left the roll of toilet paper on the counter for Patrick's next use. Later, I went back in and found the roll hung over on the holder perfect to his liking. Here's the deal, If you decide to come visit us is the near future, don't be surprised to see the roll of toilet paper off the holder, because every time Patrick puts the roll on the holder...I take it off, just to mess with him a little.

Perhaps one day he will learn that if you mess with the best…well, you know the rest.

Dang Candybars!

Do you think that 55 Burpees, 50 speed squats, 50 ball-ups, 50 squat Y's, 50 cobbler crunches, 50 tricep extensions, 50 high knees, 50 1-2-3 sit-ups, 50 1-2 sticks, and a mile and a half of walk running worked off the three candy bars I ate today?

Me neither.

Tomorrow's a new day…Thank goodness!

My Kaia Coaches

As you all may know, I wake up before the sun does to do my booty duty. Some may say that I'm crazy and I would probably have to agree. I'm not the only one who does this though. I got my front row peeps to share the love with me, and at 5am, the love is most likely a smile, a sweaty high five, or an eye roll because we were just told to do 60 seconds of Burpees! I may work and sweat and pee my pants a little (dang double unders!), but the hardest part for me is to just show up. I don't see the behind the scenes work the Kaia coaches do, but I do imagine them sitting around in their lairs homes planning our next workout. I'm sure it looks kind of like this:

Regardless, I really feel like they are a part of my team and along with my front row, middle rows, and back row peeps, they too are my Kaia sisters. I won't be giving full names because as far as I know, these ladies are not bloggers and probably won't approve of offbeat internet stalkers knowing their full names and staring at their personal photos, but here we all are, dark and early, all with similar goals and I can't help but think of that Sesame Street song titled "One of These Things is Not Like the Other". If you put us 5 ladies together, I'm pretty sure that would be our theme song.

You see, If we were celebrities, Carol would look like this:

She's my cheerleader no matter what corner (good corner, sucky corner, and the "I don't want to do it" corner) I'm in.

Heidi would look like this:

She's my no nonsense, hardcore, "Let me see yours" motivator whose arms everyone wish they had.

Alicia would look like this:

She's the class clown who can entertain and joke with the best of us all the while killing it on the floor.

Lisa would look like this:

Her never ending smiling face greets me at the door and makes me forget what kind of torture I'm about to endure.






and I…I would look like this (sigh):

Most mornings, a deer in the headlights.

Clearly, there's one who doesn't quite belong. But here's the funny thing, I DO belong and I fit right in and that's the beauty of Kaia FIT. Women of all different shapes and sizes, all different levels, all different ages, join together for one common goal. A goal to be healthy.

Sure, there are days when I feel like this:

and I look like this:

But when I'm done, I totally feel like this:

Currently, I am with these women 4-6 days of the week and that alone has added to my coolness bank. It's hard to define these beautiful women in just a few words. Cheerleader, Motivator, Entertainer, and Smiler are pieces of a much bigger puzzle. The truth of the matter is that they have been an inspiration to me not only because they look like this:

but because they make me feel like this:

Even though, I really just look like this:

and THAT is worth every single sunless 4:15am wake-up.

*DISCLAIMER*
THE PHOTOS CHOSEN TO DEPICT EACH INDIVIDUAL WAS SOLEY BASED ON LOOKS AND NOT BASED ON THE CELEBRITIES PERSONAL LIVES. THIS POST WAS BY NO MEANS INTENDED TO OFFEND ANYONE. IT WOULD HAVE BEEN A LOT HARDER TO CHOOSE PHOTOS BASED ON LOOKS AND PERSONALITIES. I'M JUST REALLY GLAD AND RELIEVED THAT I DIDN'T HAVE TO USE A PICTURE OF MILEY CYRUS. *PHEW*

Change

Deep down I knew that my health problems stemmed from the things I chose to fuel my body with. When the doctor threw the word "hereditary" out, I immediately forgot her advise about food choices and clung to that word. Of course it wasn't my fault. It was my dad's. He's the one who had kidney stones, so I must have got it from him. There is something about that kind of thought process that is really jacked up. I'm embarrassed that I used the "I have crappy genes" line on my own self. But I knew. I knew that my health problems were mostly because I was making terrible food choices.

The diagnosis from my symptoms of chronic side pain was a few monstrous kidney stones. One, the size of my pointer finger fingernail had no chance of making it's way out of my body without a little medical intervention. The other, half that size, stuck in my ureter causing my kidney to swell and lose function. Being told that I was going to have to have both these stones surgically removed was the beginning of my entrance to reality. I will spare you the gruesome details of that surgery and recovery as they weren't pleasant, but I will tell you this... I was M.I.S.E.R.A.B.L.E!

The reality of my situation really manifested during my recovery. I had a stent placed in my ureter (tube that leads from the kidney to the bladder) to allow healing. If I could have ripped that thing out myself, I swear I would have. Every single minute of every single day for two weeks straight, I was reminded that I had made very poor food choices and that there was no way in hell I would ever…EVER want to go through that again, and so, I decided that it was time to take another path and change (real change, not like Obama's change).

Seven months later, I have seen and felt the benefits of my changes. I went to a follow up appointment where the doctor told me that I am stone free and that all my labs look really really good. She thanked me for not having to do what she claimed was 90% of her job, which was ranting to the patient over and over and over again about making the necessary changes to prevent things like monstrous kidney stones from forming. She told me that I have been doing everything right and to keep it up. For once, I felt really good leaving the doctor's office.

The suggestions and advice that I used to think were nonsense and didn't apply to me have awoken some part of my brain to the truth. The truth that eating less and moving more is the only real way to lose weight and be healthy. Other factors like getting enough sleep, drinking a lot of water, meditating, and having healthy relationships all play a role in a more healthy life as well. I now know that all these things really do work. There is no quick fix and the fixes are basic and simple. I am grateful for this knowledge. I am grateful that for once, I don't feel out of control but rather in control of so many aspects of my life. This knowledge is true freedom. This knowledge is empowering. This knowledge will change me.

Kaia Fun Days

I experienced my first BRIK session at Kaia about a month ago. I don't know if BRIK stands for anything but if I had to guess, it would be:

B - Brutal
R - Rowdy
I - Insane
K - Kaia

It included:

~5 workouts a week

~Nutrition

~Weight Tracking

~Fitness Tracking

and my personal favorite… Dress Up Days!

Each week, I spent way more time than I'd like to admit, putting together outfits that were workout friendly and worked with certain themes. I now have 6 halloween costumes. That's 6 more than I had before! I recruited some of my Kaia sisters who may or may not have been as thrilled as I was to participate. Either way, we rocked each week.

WEEK 1: SPORTS DAY

(Does this shirt make my boobs look Giant?)

WEEK 2: SUPERHERO DAY

(Because Justice League has the hottest Superheroes)

WEEK 3: 80's DAY

(Let's Get Physical, Physical. I want to get Physical…)

WEEK 4: CAMO DAY

(Hell Week at its finest)

WEEK 5: TWIN DAY

(Thing One and Thing Two plus a good minion and its evil twin)

WEEK 6: FAIRYTALE DAY

(Bringing the Little Mermaid to life with Ariel, Flounder and Prince Eric)

I just love Kaia!

I'm Hosting an Alien

I'm pretty sure that my body is just a host for an alien. The things that this body has been doing for the last 6 months are not things that Rachael would have ever thought possible. So, the only logical reason would be that there is an alien inside me, right?

I've been saying this for quite a while now. Do I really believe there is an alien inside me? No, but there is some sort of alien behavior working its magic from my head to my toes.

The Mr. posted a nice Facebook note on my timeline for all my friends to see that addressed this alien inside me and I thought that it was appropriate to share on my blog, not because he needs the recognition, but that his words are wise ones for all of us to read. He wrote:

"Hey, you keep saying that you have an alien inside you because you are doing things you never thought you would do. I know you're kidding, but I wanted to share with you a quote about reaching your potential because, really, you have the capability inside you, already, to do many things you never thought possible
.
"By leaving behind your old self & taking a leap of faith into the unknown, you find out what you are truly capable of becoming."
So, basically, give yourself the credit for all the awesome things you are doing now that you never thought you would do. YOU are shedding away your old self and becoming something new; no aliens required.
Love ya babe!"

I know, I know, he's a keeper…even if there really isn't an alien inside me!

I Kan Do This

I want to apologize to ALL my faithful followers, both of you. I’m sorry for the lack of interest in the “Rachael Runs” blog. Let’s put all the hard feelings aside and start over, shall we?

Sixteen months ago, I set off on a journey. The same journey I have attempted more than my fingers, toes, and teeth can count. A journey of uncovering the amazing girl that was hiding in the rolls of my belly fat. This blog was a way of encouragement for me. It was created to hold me accountable for every donut, cheeseburger, and gallon of ice cream I would consume. A way to truly face and write down the crazy battles that happened in my head, some of which included eating that 4th piece of cake or putting my tennis shoes on for a short
waddlewalk around the block. This blog failed me. I failed me…for 10 long months.

Today I searched for some old pictures of me from the time I started “Rachael Runs”. It just so happens that around the same time, a photographer friend needed a model for an assignment she was working on. Seeing I had tons of experience from my younger modeling days, I was a perfect fit:

(See, I have the best modeling poses!)

I scrolled through hundreds of unedited photos, looking for the best representation of my body at that time. I found more than I would like to admit. I could totally work some Photoshop magic, and trust me, I know how to work some Photoshop magic (Check out my instant 50 pound weight loss here), but in my attempts to be real with myself, I won’t.

Then, I came across some photos that I had never seen. You know, the ones where your kid gets a hold of your phone, opens the camera app, and takes like a 100 shots of you sitting at the table doing nothing and then you blindly upload them to your server making sure every single one of them is backed up for safe keeping because after you die, you want your posterity to use them in your funeral slide show? Yes, I came across those ones and I...I...actually; I don’t have the words. Just look:

Talk about boobylicious…or is it bootylicious? Either way, I had both. The sausage fingers are what got me though. I have so many things I could say about all these photos, but in an attempt to not offend myself, I will just
go eat a cupcakemove on.

Fast-forward 10 months… The Rachael Runs blog is bone dry and Rachael still wasn’t running. Another weight loss regime was in the works and for all I knew, it was just another pathetic attempt to lose weight because I could barely tie my shoes. So, I
ate another cupcakejoined a gym and Weight Watchers...again.

Thank goodness for those annoying Facebook friends! You know, the kind that post all their workouts, all their meals, and throw it in their fat friend’s faces that they are healthier than you. I have a lot of friends like that. One friend in particular, who I hadn’t blocked yet for her daily (said in the best Valley Girl voice ever), “I’m done with my awesome 5am workout” status updates, posted a link to join her "awesome 5am workout". Through a series of fortunate events, I joined the all ladies boot camp class she was participating in.

I’ll make a long story short because if you’re actually still reading this, you’re probably just skimming by now. (Queue inspiring music now), This boot camp has pretty much changed everything I’ve ever thought, done, or tried to do for a healthy lifestyle. I have so many words rolling around in my head about what it has done for me, that I can’t get them to stay still long enough to type them out, but here are two: LIFE CHANGING!

I am a Kaia Girl and Kaia FIT has provided the perfect way for me to achieve goals that I never would have ever made. I’ve actually never been a goal setter. I kind of am a go with the flow type of gal, but I have learned that I CAN DO HARD THINGS because I HAVE DONE and am DOING HARD THINGS EVERYDAY! In the last 6 months, I have:

~Lost 25 pounds…slowly but surely

~Overcame a serious aversion to exercise… A friend tells me that she is going to buy me a workout headband that says “If I’m doing this, it must be getting cold in HELL” She thinks it’s perfect for me. Apparently I am not the only one who knew I hated exercising.

~Gave up my daily soda drinking habit and changed it out for good ol’ water.

~Worked out approximately 115 days. (110 days more than my last attempt.)

~Changed my sleeping habits to accommodate a 4:15am wake-up.

~Wore out a yoga mat and a pair of tennis shoes (Who knew one could ware a yoga mat out).

~Got myself up into the Crane yoga pose and totally held it! Yesss! (Said in my best Napoleon Dynamite voice.)
.
~Attempted and accomplished a handstand. (Think it's easy? Thinking it IS easy. Trying it is another story.)

~Changed my inner dialog from “I don’t want to” to “I got this”.

~Participated and finished the Kaia Sun Run 5K, my first race ever.

~Signed up and am currently participating in the I Kan Run program so I can accomplish the one goal I’ve always had which is to run a 5K without stopping. Today’s class was to run a 5K…I finished in the allotted time even though I walked some.

~Managed to become “that” annoying Facebook friend and have recruited 4 friends who are now my Kaia sisters and love it as much as I do.

~Have become mentally and physically stronger. I can actually see some muscle now…seriously, it's there, I swear!

~Became a goal setter. (Who me?)

~Traded a breakfast of a Sausage McMuffin, hash brown, and medium Dr. Pepper for a green smoothie and actually like it.

~Learned to accept praise and encouragement from others.

~Made lifetime friends that I like to call my sisters.

AND…

~Inspired others to achieve their goals.

This journey is different this time. I feel it in the depths of my soul! I have changed the way I think and do things so that I can become the girl I know I truly am. That amazing girl is fighting through her ever shrinking belly fat, breaking down layers with every burpee, every Kaia builder, every squat, and every uncoordinated yoga pose she does. She is worth it…I am worth it... And the best part about it all is that RACHAEL IS NOW RUNNING!