Nightly Shenanigans

The other day, I posted an update on Facebook about ditching the gym and getting a milkshake instead. I took a lot of good-humored heat from my Kaia sisters on that post. Some even offered to talk me down off the ledge, but I had already jumped. The problem is, when I jump, I usually take a few people along with me.

I have this friend who is usually up to participate in all my crazy shenanigans. I will conceal her identity due to the fact that she is a fellow Kaia sister and I would hate for her to be drug into my open confession here. So, she, who shall not be named, and I decided a late night milkshake run was in order. Now mind you, this would be the second milkshake in two days for me, but how could I not share this goodness of sweet caramel ice cream mixed with little pieces of chewable crack salted toffee with my partner in crime?

When I should have been putting my kids to bed, I instead hopped into my husband’s beat up car in hopes that no one would recognize me, and headed down the street to pick up my nameless friend. We pulled through the drive through and ordered our sinfully goodness shakes. The words “I’m sorry, we are currently out of the salted caramel”, pierced our ears from the speaker and I died a little inside. “We have chocolate, and strawberry and vanilla,” the voice said. Heartbroken, we drove through the drive through without stopping to pick up the only thing we were there to get.

Luckily, there was another Carl’s Jr not too far from the first and so; my nameless partner and I made our way there. Again, we ordered our milkshakes and this time the voice said,
“I’m sorry, we are out of the salted toffee for those shakes. I can make you just a caramel one if you would like.”

Who in their right mind would even want that? That shake is nothing without the salted crack toffee. Again, we declined and drove through another drive through without our coveted shake.

Most normal people would have given up by then, but we are NOT normal and we were on a mission. Another Carl’s Jr was just a few miles away, but this time, we would call to see if they had every ingredient needed to make our shakes. AND.THEY.DID! We made our way there and ordered, for a third time that night, a Sea Salt and Caramel milkshake. This time, we left the drive through with the drug shakes, but our high from the score was shortly lived as we found out that all Carl’s Jr’s would be discontinuing this particular shake. Why would they do this to me? Poor Jennifer nameless friend. I just got her to try it and now it’s being ripped out from under her! How could this be happening to us?

We somberly sipped our shakes on the ride home but we weren’t quite finished with them when we pulled onto our street. What do you do when you have a half sipped milkshake and four ravenous kids in the house that should have been put to bed before the milkshake run? You sit in the car and finish that sucker and then throw all evidence of ever having it in the outside trash before walking in the door so you don’t have to share. And that’s precisely what my nameless friend and I did. There we were, hiding out inside the car at 10pm, slurping the delicious caramel shake and chewing the salted toffee, after traveling to three…THREE Carl’s Jr’s, laughing at how much work it took to satisfy our sweet tooth. It’s actually kind of sad if you think about it, but what’s an addict to do?

I’ve come to terms that it’s probably best that Carl’s Jr retire this shake. They told us it’s because the salted caramel breaks their cups and they have to throw more of them away than what they sell, but I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if the government found out that there was crack hidden in their shakes and threatened to revoke their food safety license if they didn’t fix the situation. Either way, the shakes are heading out and I might be a little bit sad about that.

Actually, I’m really sad about it!